Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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