I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
