are you still at the devil's house?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize