the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
