I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize