LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bring me that man meat
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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