Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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