You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
