Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
