Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
