Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
