I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
