Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize