she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
