who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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