What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
