the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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