I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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