lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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