Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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