Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
