***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Randomize
