dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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