My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
