So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
