isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
