It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
