Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
