I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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