You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm passing your future prison.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
