You made me cry and you don't even care
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
