; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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