On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
