If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
