: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize