my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
