From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
