in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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