We're facebook friends in real life
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
