I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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