so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think my fart just growled at me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
