Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize