Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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