i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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