hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
