naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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