dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
