I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
