my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
