Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
