Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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