His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize