no, he came in my armpit
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Im part way to drunk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
