he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
