If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
