you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
