I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
