first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
