wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize