Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
