worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
third nipple confirmed
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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