I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
