Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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