so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
