You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
