She said her name was "party"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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