Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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