HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Send help, water and tortillas.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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