Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
