i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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